Shaadi mein Burnout:
Nishaniyan, Wajah aur Islami Tareeqa Dobara Taza Karne Ka
Assalamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu,
Kabhi aapne apne life partner ko dekha aur socha…
“Ek hi ghar mein hain, lekin lagta hai jaise hum do alag duniya mein hain.”
Na aap naraaz ho, na koi ladai ho rahi hai.
Lekin kuch kami mehsoos hoti hai. Wo spark, khushi, wo connection…
Agar aap aisa mehsoos kar rahe ho, toh ho sakta hai yeh marriage burnout ho.
Chalo is pe aaj baat karte hain.
Marriage Burnout Kya Hota Hai?
Marriage burnout hamesha kisi badi ladai ki wajah se nahi hota.
Kabhi kabhi yeh bohot halka sa hota hai — jaise dil ka thak jaana.
Jab aap har waqt sab kuch de rahe ho, lekin andar se khali mehsoos kar rahe ho.
Jab routine sab kuch le jata hai — aur rishte ko peeche chhod deta hai.
Aap cooking kar rahe ho, kaam, bachon ka khayal — sab kuch kar rahe ho,
lekin dil kehta hai… “main thak gayi hoon.”
Apne partner se nahi.
Bas is koshish se — aur us feeling se ke koi notice nahi kar raha.
Signs Jo Bata Sakte Hain Ke Aap Burnout Mehsoos Kar Rahe Hain
Kuch signs yeh ho sakte hain:
- Baat cheet mein koi feeling nahi hoti — bas formality lagti hai.
- Emotional baatein karne se ghabrate ho — kyun ke bohot thak jaate ho.
- Choti choti baatein jo pehle normal thi — ab irritate karti hain.
- Aapka dimagh aur dil dono thak gaye hain — aur samajh nahi aa raha ke recharge kaise karein.
Agar aap yeh sab jaanke chup chap sir hila rahe ho — toh samajh lo aap akele nahi ho.
Aur yeh is baat ka matlab nahi ke aapka rishta khatam ho gaya hai.
Yeh sirf ishaara hai ke aapke dil ko thoda sa khayal chahiye.
Burnout Hone Ki Wajah Kya Hoti Hai?
Sach baat yeh hai ke zindagi kabhi kabhi bohot bhaari ho jaati hai.
- Kaam ka stress
- Bachon ki zimmedari
- Ghar walon ki expectations
- Health problems
- Paise ki tension
Yeh sab dheere dheere aapki emotional aur spiritual energy ko kha jaate hain.
Aur agar aap un logon mein se ho jo hamesha kehte hain:
“Rest baad mein kar lungi,” ya “Sab kuch pehle sambhal loon, phir dekhti hoon,”
Toh shayad aapko pata bhi nahi chalta ke aap kitne thak chuke ho — jab tak yeh aapke rishte ko affect karna na shuru kar de.
Lekin Islam Kya Kehta Hai Is Baare Mein?
Islam mein nikah ek sukoon ka zariya hai.
Allah Quran mein farmate hain:
“Aur Allah ki nishaniyon mein se hai ke Usne tumhare liye tum mein se hi jodon ko paida kiya,
taake tum unse sukoon pao.
Aur unke darmiyan mohabbat aur rehmat daal di.”
(Quran 30:21)
Dhyan do — Allah ne sirf mohabbat ka nahi, rehmat ka bhi zikr kiya.
Kyunke mohabbat kabhi kabhi thakawat mein kam ho jaati hai,
lekin rehmat hamein us waqt mein bhi aage le jaati hai.
Seerat (Seerah) se Ek Khoobsurat Waqia
Nabi Muhammad (sallAllahu alaihi wasallam) apni biwiyon se gehra emotional connection rakhte the — khaaskar Aisha (radiAllahu anha) se.
Ek riwayat mein aata hai ke dono aapas mein race kiya karte the — bhaagte the!
(Sunan Abu Dawud 2578)
Woh ek bade insaan, ek leader, ek Nabi the.
Lekin phir bhi apni biwi ke saath mazaaq, masti, khushi ke pal guzarte the.
Iska matlab yeh hai ke shaadi sirf zimmedari nahi hoti — khushi bhi hoti hai.
Kaise Recharge Karein?
Toh chalo baat karte hain solutions ki — jab shaadi bhaari lagti hai, toh kya karein?
Islamic aur Practical Tips
- Soft aur sachai se baat karein
Kuch is tarah bolo:
“Mujhe aapse mohabbat hai, lekin lagta hai hum dono bohot thak chuke hain.
Kya hum baith ke baat kar sakte hain ke kaise dobara close ho sakte hain?” - Har din 10-15 minute ka sukoon ka time banayein
Koi phone nahi. Koi kaam nahi.
Sirf chai/coffee aur baat cheet. - Niyyat ko taza karein
Yaad dilayein apne aapko:
Yeh shaadi sirf mere liye nahi — yeh meri ibadah (ibadat) bhi hai.
Nabi (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) ne farmaya:
“Tum mein behtareen wo hai jo apne ghar walon ke liye behtareen ho,
aur main apne ghar walon ke liye sabse behtareen hoon.” (Mishkat al-Masabih)
“Tum mein sab se behtar wo hai jo apne Ahal-o-Ayal ke liye behtar ho,
aur main apne Ahal-o-Ayal ke liye tum mein sabse behtar hoon.”
(Sunan Ibn Majah 1977, Jami at-Tirmidhi 3895)
“Sab se behtar woh log hain jo apni auraton ke liye behtar hon”
(Sunan Ibn Majah 1978, Jami at-Tirmidhi 1162)
- Dua ki taqat ko underestimate mat karo
Allah se maango: “Ya Allah, hamare pyar mein barakah daal. Dobara connection paida kar.
Hamein un logon mein bana jo ek dusre mein sukoon paate hain.” - Apni emotional energy ko protect karo
Kabhi burnout isliye hota hai kyun ke hum boundaries set nahi karte.
Aapko har argument ka hissa banna zaroori nahi.
Kabhi kabhi “sukoon” “right hone” se zyada important hota hai.
Ek Choti Si Reflection — Dono Spouses Ke Liye
Apne aap se poochho:
- Kya main sabr se baat karti/karta hoon?
- Kya meri tone me narmi hai?
- Kab last time maine apne spouse ka shukriya ada kiya?
Yeh choti choti baatein bohot matter karti hain —
kabhi kabhi inka asar kisi bade gift se bhi zyada hota hai.
Final Reminder — Umeed Hai
Agar aap is waqt disconnected mehsoos kar rahe ho, toh yaad rakho:
Sabse khoobsurat baagh ko bhi paani, dhoop, aur thodi si dekhbhaal aur safai ki zarurat hoti hai taake wo taza reh sakein.
Shaadi bhi waise hi hai.
Burnout ka matlab yeh nahi ke pyar khatam ho gaya hai.
Matlab yeh hai ke aap bohot der se mazboot bane hue the — ab thoda refill chahiye.
Toh ruko. Saans lo. Reconnect karo.
Allah se. Apne partner se. Khud se.
Aur yaad rakho:
“Beshak har mushkil ke saath aasani hai.”
(Quran 94:6)
Aap akelay nahi ho. Aapki koshishon ko Allah dekh raha hai. Aapka dil important hai.
Allah aapki shaadi ko mohabbat, rehmat, aur nayi taazgi se bhar de. Aameen.
Wassalamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu.
Book Recommendations
The Quran – English Meanings and Notes by Saheeh International